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Britney Spears shares 22-minute voice memo reflecting on conservatorship

“I honestly still to this day don’t know what really I did"

By Hollie Geraghty

Britney Spears
Britney Spears. Credit: Glenn Francis.

Britney Spears has shared a 22-minute voice memo in which she discusses her conservatorship.

In November last year, the singer was freed from a 13-year conservatorship from her father, Jamie Spears, after speaking publicly about being “traumatised” by the “abusive” arrangement.

The singer, who recently deleted her Instagram, took to Twitter yesterday (28 August) to share a now-deleted voice note about her experience under the conservatorship.

“I’ve had tons of opportunities — Oprah, interviews — to go on a platform and share the hardships and just really anything that’s going on in my mind,” she said (via Billboard).

“I really don’t think any of that is relevant, getting paid to tell your story. I feel like it’s kind of silly.”

She continued: “I haven’t honestly shared this openly too, as well, because I’ve always been scared of the judgement and definitely the embarrassment of the whole thing, period, and the skepticism and the cynical people and their opinions of what people would actually think.”

The singer added that she was “in a place now where I’m a little bit more confident that I can be willing to share openly my thoughts and what I’ve been through.”

She also reflected on the start of the conservatorship: “I was 25 when it started. I was extremely young. I remember a lot of my friends texting me and calling me, extremely close, and they wanted to see me.”

“I honestly still to this day don’t know what really I did, but the punishment of my father…I wasn’t able to, you know, see anyone or anything. You have to imagine none of it made sense to me.”

Spears also said the whole experience started with a “SWAT team” in her home and “three helicopters”.

 “I remember my mom’s best friend, and my two girlfriends, we had a sleepover the night before. They held me down on a gurney. Again, none of it made sense. Literally the extent of my ‘madness’ was playing chase with paparazzi, which is still to this day one of the most fun things I ever did about being famous. I don’t know what was so harmful about that.

“I remember my mom was sitting on the couch, and she said, ‘We heard people are coming here today to talk to you. We should probably go to a hotel or something.’ I never really understood what she meant. I didn’t believe her. Like, is a lawyer coming here? Who is coming here? Four hours later, there were over 200 paparazzi outside my house video-taping me through a window of an ambulance, holding me down on a gurney.”

Spears also described as the conservatorship as “premeditated”, adding thatcher father ‘loved to control everything I did”.

The singer added that in the first two weeks of being hospitalised she was “completely traumatised out of my mind”.

Spears last week returned with the Elton John collaboration, ‘Hold Me Closer’, her first song in six years and first post-conservatorship.